I had a dream that I was sitting at my computer when I was overwhelmed by raging technicolor libido and realized I was sporting a monumentally huge boner. I was too busy buzzing to worry much about the surprise or origin my new penis, instead my brain thought, Dang, I think I could just lean forward slightly and probably suck this magnificent thing!
So I did.
Except it didn't feel as rad as I expected and the flesh got weird, I thought, to hell with it, this whole thing is pretty rare so i'm just gonna ride this weird wave for a minute, and I'm gonna keep sucking this thing.
Except it stretched. I had created a rope-like flesh tube. Instead of sucking my sweet new wang, I was sucking on my own shoulder, and I had begun to swallow it. I was trying to pull it back out of my throat but it just kept getting longer and longer and I was starting to panic because I thought a) I'm either going choke to death in the weirdest way possible or b) I am going to have a flaccid rope hanging off my shoulder for the rest of my life. I even had a moment to contemplate. Of course I'm not going to die, but holy shit, am I going to have to wind up the tube like a ball of yarn? How might I fashion a smallstylish sack to hold the ball against my arm so I wouldn't have to go around with a weird jibbley dingus swinging from my shoulder. Tank tops would totally be out.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
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